Blame it on the SAKE rewritten!
by sena-chan
Summary: Chapter 5 is here!...What can a bottle of sake do when given to a sake-holic Hokage? ...Sakura steals a scroll? Naruto grants his dream as a..girl? and Sasuke goes frenzy because of... who? FemNaruSasu...
1. Where it all began: A Grinning Sakura

NOTE!: REWRITTEN!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto-kun… too bad…or I'll be the unpredictable knucklehead in the series and he's my koi!! Hehehe! He's so kawaii!!

Warning: this is my first ever fanfiction…pls. be gentle!! Handle me with care!!

Summary: Never ever get near the 5th Hokage when drunk… What you wanted might turn out to be the opposite!!One-sided SasuSaku, one-sided NaruSaku, eventually FemNarusasu... Naruto will be a girl in this fic!

_Blablablah – thoughts_

**Chapter One: Where it all began: A Grinning Sakura**

At the hokage's office…

Tsunade: S-A-K-E!! Sa--ke-kun!! Give… me… all. of… yo-----uu!! Ugh! ZzzzzZzzzz… (snores)

The last words and action of the great Godaime-sama proved a pink-haired kunoichi she is totally drunk! Hell, who will never be drunk after getting 20 gallons of sake!! What could her student be doing to her making her drunk?

Sakura: (evil laugh) ahahahahaha (eep!! Tsunade-sensei might wake up)!! _Ahahahaahaha! _Now is my chance to be the most beautiful kunoichi in the whole world!! With Tsunade- sensei's help (hold's a certain scroll belonging to the Godaime), my beloved Sasuke- kun will notice me and forever he'll be mine!!! Aha- _hahahaha_!!! _I never know Tsunade-sensei will easily give me this scroll and she also said the instructions! Kami, I never know I will be this close to be Mrs. Uchiha! Sasuke- kun here I come!_

A cold gust of wind filled the office leaving a sleeping and snoring Tsunade on the floor as Sakura left the place with an evil grin on her pale face.

At the Training grounds…

The next day is a peaceful day. Clouds are dancing in the sky, enjoying the birds' chirps up in the trees of Konohagakure. A certain pink-haired kunoichi is smiling sweetly to the delicious err.. delightful sight in front of her: A brooding chicken-butt !!!!

Me: Who's glaring?? (horrified)

Sakura: SAY IT AGAIN??…(with clenched knuckles and a pulsating forehead)

Me: geesh, can't you take a joke? Besides, a nerve on your forehead will make you old! Bad sign for you to be noticed by your oh- Sasuke-KUN!! Tsk tsk tsk..

Sakura: (gasps and felt her forehead) why, sena –chan your righ--…hey!! You're not part of this story! Stop inserting yourself in the lines and go on with your work!

Me: fine! I'll fini--…HEY!! I'm the authoress here!! i have AUTHORity! You want me to erase you??

Sakura: Nooooo!! I want to be with my sasuke-kun! Onegai shimasu!! Nooo!! I promise!!

Me: then shut up and quit complaining!! As I was typing a while ago… _wait!! My memory!! Err.. I got to find it first! Stupid Sakura! Disturbing my train of thought!!_

Sakura was too focused on her daydreaming with (you know who!!) while waiting for Kakashi to come that she never noticed a flash of blonde blocking her Sasuke-kun.

Naruto: (grinning) SAKURA-CHAN! You look beau---! (receives a punch in the nose) Oww! Is that what I get from greeting you? …_it's not like it's not her normal greeting...at least she greets me! yay!! (grinning in thoughts)_

Sakura: Ma, naruto-baka !! so loud!! You are disrupting my thoughts.. Now, I have to find it.. (Me:hmm.. sounds familiar!!)

As she was regaining the things in her mind to daydream again….POOF!! (You all knew who appeared) Looks like Sakura's day will never be great!

Sakura and Naruto: You're LATE for almost 3 HOURS!! ( sounds like they're going to eat Kaka-sensei alive!!)

Kakashi: Eee! Gomen, as you see as I pass by the seaside, a dolphin got trapped by plastics and it can't breathe so I have to—

Naruto: Stop those nonsense reasons Kakashi- sensei, what are we going to—hey, isn't that Iruka sensei's… what is it called again (I can't think of a thing!! Use your imagination of what that thing may be)??

Sakura was busy staring at Sasuke's face while Sasuke enjoyed looking at the ground so nobody paid attention to Naruto's ranting.

Kakashi:( went wide-eyed but regain his composure ) Guess I accidentally took it after both of us save that dolphin. Poor thing, it almost died! ( Me: It's true that a dolphin was stuck in a plastic! And Kakashi found Iruka who was also helping the poor dolphin so...you pervert thinking it was something else!) well, we don't have a mission today… Training is it!! Naruto, Sasuke, you two spar. Sakura , you'll train with me..

Sasuke: _at last I can already speak! My mouth's drying up! Stupid authoress! Almost forgetting I'm here.. _

Me: hey, I'm not the emo here!! Go and act like you would be!! Wait!! You still are thinking not talking moron!! Now, I thought you were a prodigy… so what will you say oh high and mighty Uchiha!!??(snickers)

Sakura: Ano…Sasuke-kun… _take care…_

Sasuke: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU…STUP--!! _Eep! I opened my mouth…damn you sena-chan!! I ruined my emo character! Wait, you're the one who ruined it! Damn you authoress!_

Me: yay! I got you there !! He called me Sena- CHAN!! Oi, Sasuke I'm starting to think you like me !!ahahaha!! Too bad you said it in front of…

Sakura: Sa...su...ke, what did I do?(teary eyed thinking that Sasuke got angry of her)

Sasuke: _Shut up! why did I call her sena-chan?... Well, it's her pen-name!! Now I have to face a teary-eyed annoying pinky_(still shocked as to what he just said) hn..._what will be the excuse?? _ ( eyes closed and mentally slapping his face while ALMOST not noticing a heavy blow aiming to his face).. DOBE, wtf!! (eyes widening to a fist getting closer)

Naruto: _damn bastard, he still dodged the attack! _Don't you dare hurt Sakura-chan you TEME!

And so they began their training leaving Sakura with waterfalls coming out of her eyes!! Kakashi never noticed since he was busy with his new copy of icha-icha recently published by the frog sannin.

After 20 minutes of standing like a water fountain, Sakura, regained control of herself and decided to sneak up on the two in order to get her plan work! Heck, Kakashi-sensei won't train her!! She almost forgot why she was so happy for this day to come, the inevitable day that Sasuke-kun will be hers! Kakashi sensei will not mind though, so she just look over the entire forest as to where the two have been.

Sakura: _There they are! Good enough to barge in since they're exhausted and tired already. Now, how to make my plan work…think Sakura, THINK!.......... I get it!!! Ahahahaha!! You are so brilliant Sakura!! (evil grin)_

Next Chapter: Tsunade wonders where the heck is one of her scrolls after awaking from the big headache ( why drink too much sake?) and goes insane looking for it causing the office to be more messed up meaning the harder it is to find it. What is the Scroll about?… Meanwhile, Sakura is beginning to work out her plan..

Me: oh, no!! Sasuke will be in deep trouble!! Hide sasuke!!! What will Sakura do? What is in that scroll? And why is she grinning madly?? Will her plan work?? How is Tsunade-sama? Wow too many questions!! If you have suggestions, I am gladly accepting it!! Thanks!! At least one review will be very much appreciated!! Also, criticism must be constructive, if there will be any…Hope you like my first Chapter!


	2. Who Stole the Scroll?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto-kun…(cries) I hope I do!!

Warning: this is my first ever fanfiction…pls. be gentle!! Handle me with care!!

_Blablablah – thoughts_

_**Blablablah – inner Sakura, Kyuubi**_

Last Chapter: When the Hokage was drunk, she absentmindedly gave Sakura one of her secret scrolls which delighted Sakura! Her dream to be with Sasuke will be very soon..

Sakura: _There they are! Good enough to barge in since they're exhausted and tired already. Now, how to make my plan work…think Sakura, THINK!.......... I get it!!! Ahahahaha!! You are so brilliant Sakura!! (evil grin)_

**Chapter Two: Who Stole the Scroll?**

As the two shinobis rest after an exhausting and good fight, Sakura then came out from her hiding and went to the bleeding Naruto for aid. She looked worried for him, to Naruto's thought that is.

Naruto: _Sakura-chan is nice to me?! Yay! She finally noticed me dattebayo! _Sa—kura- ch—an…(forces a smile to Sakura)

Sakura: Naruto!! (looks at Sasuke displeased) Sasuke-kun, don't be so harsh on Naruto-baka! You could have killed him! _Sasuke, I hope you are okay there. I need to do this to have you._

Sasuke: Hn.. Dobe…_He almost got me there.. I need to act as if I'm not that totally harmed. I'm not bleeding yet I pain all over.. act as none of his attacks give an impact to you Sasuke.. I'm not this weak… I have to endure…pain… _(closes eyes)

Naruto: Hey! I am not an idiot you TE—Urgh—ME! (spitting blood from his mouth) _damn, he almost got me! I need to be stronger._

Sakura: Naruto, don't move! Your bleeding more if you move much... Don't you ever say Sasuke-kun is a bastard and don't you dare spit on me, sheesh! Don't you want me to heal you?…_ I'm draining a lot of chakra here…I'm near depletion! What a damage Sasuke-kun did! Yay! he's really strong! A great husband will he ever be with strong arms to hold me!!My Sasuke-kun!!!____( daydreaming with hearts all over her head)_

Naruto: Go—men Sakura-chan… (looks at Sakura smiling at him with closed eyes and hears a giggle from her…he blushes…Kami-sama , if he only knows what's inside her mind) _Why is Sakura-chan smiling?... a giggle from her? Why is my cheeks hot all of a sudden?_

Sakura: _He's blushing?? Is it from my giggle? Hm, time to initiate my first move._ Naruto- kun… _EEk, it's so hard to spit out the kun! I hope my flirting works… __**[Of course it will! He's an idiot remember?]**__ Shut up you inner! I know it will, because I'm an actress._

Naruto: Sa—Sakura-chan? _I'm stu…stu… what's that word again? I can't help but stutter! oh yeah, that's the word, I'm stutterfied!__**[stuttering]**__whatever!!... Now my cheeks flush after she called my name…wait is there a kun after my name? sena-chan, can you repeat what she had said earlier? Onegai!__**[ you're really an idiot!]**__ Shut up Kyuubi! Sena-chan??_

Me: Sheesh, no…it would spoil the moment!

Naruto: _Moment? What moment? (shrugging his shoulders) I give up! You can now go on with the story Sena-chan…_

Me: Don't worry Naruto, everything will be fine later… I promise!! You'll eventually love it!

Sakura: Naruto?? Can I ask you something… a favor?

Naruto: (now healing faster) what is it Sakura-chan? Will you now agree with me for lunch at Ichiraku's? _I released it!! Hah!! Hope she agrees! __**[This is weird Naruto!! She's acting differently] **__No she doesn't! she finally acknowledges me!!_

Sakura: I'm thinking about it Naruto if you help me with my favor… onegai shimasu…Naruto – kun (batting her eyelashes plus the kun is said so softly but Naruto caught it by reading her lips)_ Sasuke- kun, pls. don't get jealous… I will always be loyal to you… _

Sasuke: (opens eyes and sees Sakura talking to Naruto then closes them again) Hn.. _how come that pink bitch is talking to the dobe… It's quite peculiar for her… _

Naruto: _yay! There is the kun!(heart is beating faster) _Of course Sakura-chan!! Whatever that is I will be accepting that favor! _**[Damn brat! Don't get too excited! Think first!... Whatever, I realized, you can't think!!]**__ Kyuubi, don't mess up with my mood! I'm ecstasy!!__**[ecstatic!! Idiot!]**__ my tongue just slipped… besides, ecstasy and ecstatic are familiar!__**[ I'm going back to sleep]**__ good for you!__**[ She's talking to you] **__Oh!! _Sakura-chan…ehehehe…

Sakura: (waving her hands in front of his face) Naruto?? You spaced out there!!... Anyways,

about my favor, I would like to…

Meanwhile at the hokage office…

Tsunade: Damn headache!! So much for a hangover that I forgot what happened yesterday… Hmm…20 bottles of sake was too good! Well thank you whoever you are for bringing me my greatest de-(burps!!)-sire!! Shizune? _Why is she sleeping in the office?_

Shizune: (jumps after hearing her name after dozing off in the chair) Ah! Tsunade-sama, ohayo gozaimasu! Sorry, I took a doze. You were still busy calling Jiraiya-sama in your dreams I felt bad to disturb your sleep so… A-ano, when will you give the mission for the delivery of the mysterious scroll to the valley of mysteries??

Tsunade: _Jiraiya?... _I almost forgot about the scroll! It's ok Shizune. The scroll found yesterday on the abandoned village is like a time machine but a different one I say. The paper used is rare which I believed is used by a clan of shinobi who specializes in teleportation, but there are no existing members who live today.

Shizune: A clan specializing in teleportation? A time machine? Why would it be different?

Tsunade: The clan was thought to be just a legend, but during the Great Ninja Wars someone attempted to use it. He was the only surviving member that time and he had many pursuers back then, all curious of his jutsu. It was found out that the technique was passed on the first born sons and those capable of using it cannot pass it to his next generation. Children born aside from the first born son will carry the gene to pass the jutsu. He was killed, but they had found his place where lots of scrolls where stored. Everyone got their share of a scroll painted with unique patterns but gradually feared in using it since it asks a valuable price: their lives. If you don't have the bloodline, that is the dreadful outcome that you will experience upon using the scroll. The scrolls found were thought to be kinjutsus. Each pattern determines the properties of the scroll. Like the one found yesterday, it grants anyone who will use it to be taken to a world where they wanted to be living, be it the past, the future, or the user's dream world of fantasy. He cannot teleport at the same time interval though.

Shizune: The user instantly dies??? How do you know about the scroll's potential?

Tsunade: He simply dies upon using it, which means the user will be living in a different world forever and he can never come back! But… the user's memory won't fade away. It's just a continuity of his life in another world, with new faces and culture to deal with. I have met a hermit long before I met you. He used it. At first, I didn't believe him but through careful investigation and research, all information he told me was true. He wanted the war to end during his time and just want to know the effects of it in the future. He gave me the empty scroll with the weird pattern on it after I battled with him for wanting to kiss me. (makes a disgusted face) I still have the goose bumps remembering his ugly scarred face especially when he tried to flirt wit---

Shizune: Ahh, Tsunade-sama we're going off topic here…(sweatdrops)

Tsunade: Oh! Hehe… I dozed off… Anyway, the one he gave me and the scroll found yesterday have the same patterns that's why I know what that scroll is capable of. If the scroll falls in bad hands, the world's future is doomed. That's all I know for now. By any means, we have to give full security in protecting the scroll while taking it to the valley of mysteries. Experts there know much more.

Shizune: (shocked!! o.O ) that means, it is a forbidden scroll then? … Who do you want to deliver the scroll to the valley of mysteries?

Tsunade: Give me 3 anbus. The scroll is in the left compartment of the cabinet near the window. Oh… I'm having a big headache today. Might as well… zZZ!!! (snores)

Shizune approaches the cabinet and found the left compartment broken leaving the unlocked lock hanging on the left cabinet's knob.

Shizune: _The cabinet's been opened by force…_ Ahh…Tsunade-sama…

Tsunade: Hmm… just let me take another nap Shizune.

Shizune: Tsun--! ( getting pissed off and pokes the blonde's shoulder)

Tsunade: zZZZZ!! (replied by a loud snoring)

Shizune: TONTON'S KIDNAPPED!!

Tsunade: zZZZZ!! Wha-a? Don't you think it's pig-(zzZZ)-napped Shiz… zzZZ!

Shizune: YOU'RE THE HOKAGE FOR KAMI'S SAKE, WAKE UP IT'S IMPORTANT!!!

Tsunade: you'll be the **O**fficer-(zzZ)-**I**n-(zZZ)-**C**harge for now…zZZ!

**BONK! Bonk! BONK! Bonk! BONK! Bonk! BONK! Bonk! BONK! Bonk! BONK!**

Shizune: _Geez… WHEN WILL YOU WAKE UP! _(keeps on pounding the Godaime's head again but notices a very dark aura emanating from her) A—aaaaaahhh! Tsu-Tsunade-sssammaaa… _looks like I overdid it! Help me!_

Tsunade: S-H-I---Z-U---N-E!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( a very very dark aura on her)

Shizune: (mentally shrinks) the… the… the... thescrollwefoundyesterdayisnotinthecabinet!!! (Tries to keep her face on the floor) _Eeep!!! Pls don't hit my face pls don't…_

Tsunade: What? (moods back to normal) SAY IT SLOWLY DAMMIT!

Shizune: the scroll…ahh…

Tsunade: what about the scroll? O.o

Shizune: (shaky forefinger points at the cabinet) the scroll is…

Tsunade: I place it there so what's the problem?? (notices the left compartment's condition)

Oh, that! I was also a little bit pissed off yesterday about something and you know what I can do when I'm pissed off… It just so happens that I can't find the keys for the lock…Why the hell do they need keys anyway!! Who never thought of placing seals instead of that vile lock! (glares at the lock) Uh… now my headache returns… So what is it now? (shrugs)

Shizune: Oh!... _Blondes=temper!... _But it's not that thing that I'm trying to tell you.

Tsunade: then why the face? (glares)

Shizune: _Ok…your death glare wins… _it's what's inside that I'm concerned of.

Tsunade: (looks in the cabinet) the only thing inside there is the scroll which is not there right now!

Shizune: Yes!

Tsunade: So… your point is??

Shizune: …_What the?? Are blondes really that stupid? And to think she's a Sannin and a Hokage! …_Maybe, you placed it somewhere else?

Tsunade: No! I'm sure I placed it right there! (points at locker)

Shizune: But why is it not there right now?

Tsunade: …I'm super sure I did place it right there Shizune! I swear!

Shizune: then it's… lost…

Tsunade: probably… (O.O) …WHAT?

…………………………………………………**.-L-O-S-T-………………………………………….**

Tsunade: IF SOMEONE'S GOT A HOLD ON THAT SCROLL, HE'LL BE BURNED! _What if I gave it to one of my clients or visitors? I've got lot's of visitors and clients… not a big help!! I'm pretty sure the scrolls I gave Gai and Kurenai were the right ones… Shikamaru? Heck, he didn't get it. Sakura?… the hell… I can't remember after that! _(with wide eyes)My sake visitor must have got it! Shizune, did you remember my last visitor?

Shizune: Jiraiya-sama… I saw him went out of the office at 3 a.m.… I was going to check if I left the report that Kakashi gave you yesterday. Then I saw you sleeping with sake bottles on the floor. I decided to wait for you but then I was tempted by sleep too.

Tsunade: _Jiraiya was the one giving me sake?... _(another shocking face) he might have gotten the scroll!! But why will I give it to him anyway?

Shizune: _…Because you're drunk, and you are not on your right mind!..._

Tsunade: Shizune?

Shizune: Uh, sorry I was trying to relate Jiraiya to the scroll…_Can she read minds?..._But if you gave it to him, where will we find him now?? He cannot stop from a place for a long time…Tsunade-sama… what do you think will he do with the scroll?

Tsunade: (shakes head) damn headache!! Damn scroll!! I don't know! He's our primary suspect for now… UH! … DAMN YOU JIRAIYA! I'M REALLY GOING TO KILL YOU NOW! (punches the desk and the hokage office shakes)

Shizune: (shudders) _maybe we will need a punch proof office next time… more repairs coming…_ (sweat dropped)

Me: hah!! I'm done with the second chappy!! Is it long? This chapter's really different than before… total revision I say… oh c'mon… I know you're eager to review!! Wel, in truth I'm the one eager to read reviews!! See you next Chapter!!

Oh by the way… I won't focus on the scroll's history after this chapter… I made up a clan with teleportation as a bloodline limit... and I don't want to give a name to the last member of the clan and the hermit Tsunade met during her gambling escapades.

I really made Tsunade an OOC there…she's not really stupid...i just take into consideration her blonde hair…but hey, she easily gets angry and I made Shizune a little unrespectful towards the Hokage's actions…

--------------------------


	3. The True Suspect Is who?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto-kun… we all know who made him… we just want to steal him for a while!!

Warning: this is my first ever fanfiction…pls. be gentle!! Don't burn me with your flames!!

_Blablablah – thoughts, talking to sena-chan_

_**Blablablah – inner Sasuke, Kyuubi**_

Last Chapter: Jiraiya is the primary suspect of the lost scroll… Oh no! Tsunade's destroyed the hokage tower… Sakura executes her plan to capture Sasuke's heart… and Naruto…uh… what could be Sakura's favor??

**Chapter Three: The Real Suspect is…who??**

While Sakura was busy telling Naruto her favor, an anbu appeared telling her to report to Tsunade immediately. Luckily she was finished and she waved goodbye leaving a grinning foxy boy and a sleeping emo???

Sasuke: _I'm not asleep sena-chan! I'm just closing my eyes. _

Me: Hi Sasuke!! Hm…you acknowledge me!! How shweeeet! By the way, what's with the drool on your mouth? Not a proof? Hm… looks like Sakura ignores you today. Don't you like to be fawn at huh, Sasuke!! Admit it or else that proves me your…

Sasuke: _I'm what??_

Me: SECRET!! It adds thrill ne? ahahaha!! Hey, go and apologize!

Sasuke: _Hn... shut up! _(glares)_ It's better with her that way, less annoy-(_ is hitted by a pebble in the forehead) _ WHAT THE! _(opens his eyes and glares at the blond) What the hell DOBE!!!!

Naruto: ARE YOU DEAF?? I'M ALREADY SCREAMING HERE CALLING YOUR NAME, TEME!

Sasuke: Hn… (closes eyes again but still glares at sena-chan for his spacing out) _Go away Sena-chan… you're not supposed to be a part in this story!_

Me: (n,n) Ok.. since you called me Sena-chan…I'll take my exit here! Ta da!

Naruto: Oi, teme! Sakura's really upset with you. You should apologize to her for shouting at her face!

Sasuke: Hn…

Naruto: …

Sasuke: (stands rather slowly due to chakra exhaustion) it's not my fault.

Naruto: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT? IT WAS OBVI-- OMP!! (mouth was blocked by Sasuke's hand covering it) _what the…his reflexes are still impressive even though he can barely stand a while ago…_

Sasuke: (still covering Naruto's mouth…saying close to a whisper) keep quiet dobe… someone's coming.

Naruto: … _someone?... _whatever teme…

Sasuke: (whisper) I said shut up!

Naruto: (whisper) Okay!! Okay!!

Both shinobis hide their chakra immediately and went to a safe spot.

Sasuke and Naruto: _it stopped… _(Looks and observes surroundings) _it better not be an enemy… _(wide- eyed) _Jiraiya (Ero-Sennin)?? Why does he sounded like a girl??hm…_

Kakashi: hahahah! Those fools! I never thought it was this easy to get it… Nobody even noticed it was me. Aha-ha-ha-ha! Lucky that Hokage is drunk! Time to dispel my henge…KAI!

Both genins were shocked to see a small red-headed girl with a hitai-ate on her right leg. It identifies that she is from the hidden mist village. She was carrying a scroll on her left hand...

Girl: (sounded like a 60-yr old woman) With this special scroll to grant someone's desire, I'll regain my youthful beauty in forever! Now who will not like a youthful me, ne?? Hehehe…

The girl or rather the old woman then attempted to open the scroll.

Naruto: _She stole a forbidden scroll in our village! She'll pay for this!_

Sasuke: _A scroll to grant something desired?? How come I don't know that… but I'm sure the right person to own that scroll is not a pathetic youth-craving old hag…ME! Now, Itachi nii-san, i'll gain the mangekyo, way different than yours…I'll kill you pretty soon!_

Both genins jump from their hiding place towards the intruder equipped with their shurikens and kunais.

Naruto: Hold it right there old woman! You won't gewt away with that scroll not when UZUMAKI NARUTO'S HERE DATTEBAYO!

Masami: Huh? Who?

Naruto: grr… You're facing the next HOKAGE!!!!

----A couple of leaves were blown away as a gust of wind enters the scene----

Bird: Caw! Caw! Caw! (flaps its wings)

Masami: ah..ha-ha!! (sardonic laugh)

Sasuke: You really are an idiot blowing our cover!! Give it back you ugly bitch!

Masami: o.OGo home brats, I don't want to…(upon hearing ugly) AAAAAAAAHHHHH, YOU JUST SAID SOMETHING SO UNFIT FOR MY BEAUTY! I CAN NEVER ACCEPT SUCH WORD! DIE WITH SHAME! YOU STUPID BRATS WILL PAY FOR IT!

----Suddenly, strong winds move towards the two----

Naruto: Teme! You shouln't have told he that she's ugly!! Shit! Shit! Too strong…A-aaah!! (blown away!)

Sasuke: Hn! She's really ugly!! Shut up and concentrate on… (blown away)!Aaaah! _I'm still weak and can't fight an old hag…must think…fast…_

Masami: Surprised ne? Little brats want to play with the great Masami (meaning - **masa**: become **mi**: beautiful)? Well, I'm still flexible and smexy!!(poses)…

--Naruto and Sasuke were disgusted by her pose exposing hanging mouths and wide eyes--

Masami: Prepare your worst nightmare! You should have gone home when I told you… well, the only option I will let you go is if you are dead!! And I will make it fast and painless!! Naah… I changed my mind… how about I let you suffer first…??..._What would be my perfect final kill?..._

Sasuke: Hn… then we live you no choice but to kill you! (throws shurikens at her but she just "poofed") _bunshin… _ WHA---???

----Masami then appears infront of Sasuke stabbing him----

Masami: That won't work on me twit! Ahahahah!!! Poor boy, your still young to die!!??

----Stabbed Sasuke poofed into a log----

Masami: _kawarimi?… _two slowpokes can't kill me let alone catch me!!

Naruto: (recovers after being hit on the tree trunk) Oh yeah! Handle my Taijuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!

----The field is now full of orange jumpsuits jumping and poofing while fighting Masami----

Sasuke: _WHAT THE?? He released that much chakra? but we were both exhausted! I lack chakra to activate my sharingan already. Looks like taijutsu will just do. My katon jutsu will be my finishing kill._

Meanwhile at the Hokage tower area…

Tsunade: I already gave you the description of the scroll's capabilities. Search for Jiraiya a.s.a.p.! He's our prime suspect. Understood? Now Dismissed!

The ANBU squad then nodded and immediately went to search for the scroll and Jiraiya in a continuous "poof". Then came Sakura, shocked that the Hokage Tower's half fell into pieces.

Tsunade: Sakura, attend to those who were injured. You already have the capacity.

Sakura: Hai! Ano… Tsunade-shisou… May I know what happened here? _How will I tell Tsunade-shisou that I can't open the scroll with what she has told me… This is not the perfect timing for me to talk to a raging Hokage… _(ToT)…

Somewhere in the Fire Country…

Jiraiya: Oh! This research is perfect!! Ah…ah…ah…ACHOOOOOO!! _Whoopsie…_

Shrieking voices of random women were heard saying "PERVERT!!" and our famous toad sannin had to make a run for his life… meaning transferring to another place…again…

Me: Yay!!! It's shorter…well, I'm not that good with fight scenes. Sorry if there ain't no great battle scenes but the battle's still beginning! Maybe, I'll add more details next chappy!!

Someone, disguised herself as Jiraiya and stole a scroll? But Sakura has a scroll too? So which is which? Find out next chapter!! Now, we are really sure that it wasn't Jiraiya!! More Battle scenes and Sakura's move next chappy!

I really appreciate reviews! So leave if you want to!!!! And thanks for those who read this!!


	4. Masami's Downfall

Me: I don't own Naruto-kun… (cries) I hope I do!! If I use henge as Masashi-san…then maybe…I can!!!

Warning: this is my first ever fanfiction…and I've already messed up the gender of the main character!!!

_Blablablah – thoughts, talking to sena-chan_

_**Blablablah – inner Sakura, Kyuubi**_

Last Chapter: Anbus are on the move to search and capture Jiraiya… … and Naruto and Sasuke are in battle with Masami. Sakura's having a problem with the scroll Tsunade gave her…

**Chapter Four: Masami's Downfall**

Tsunade was still furious for being so obsessed with sake that she was almost having amnesia for a day!! Oh! The power of a tiny drop of sake; the more you indulge, the less you want to break free from it!

**Me: Flashback-no-jutsu!!**

Sakura: I did it Tsunade-sensei!!

Tsunade: Well, time for a celebration!! _Oooh!! Sake time! Sake time! I can have my sake time! I can't wait to have you sake-kun!! (_has this dreamy look while chanting her delight to drink her sake inside her mind!)

Shizune: Tsunade-sama, no sake for today!! Sakura is still youn—

Sakura: Shizune-san, it's ok with me…I'll drink something else. Besides, I promised I'll treat Tsunade-sensei with a bottle of sake if I can master this technique today!!

Tsunade: _More than threatened her to give me sake today… _It's just a bottle

Shizune. No need to worry…Besides, I'm broke today…

Shizune: _You never had a lot of money! You end up losing all of it with your gambling obsession as usual. _(grabs sakura close to her and kinda whispers with deadly intent) Sakura, promise me that Tsunade-sama cannot have more than one bottle of sake. She'll be intolerable if that happens!!

Sakura: Ano, Shizune-san… what will usually happen to Tsunade-sensei?

Shizune: She'll become louder and she blabbers nonsense things… and she-

Tsunade: Oi, Shizune! Where's Tonton? He needs to be fed and bathed already… it's your schedule this time!! Catch us later after that ok? Ja ne!!_ Now that silences her… I'm the Hokage dammit!! I can take more than one bottle! That Shizune! _(talking to herself while walking away with Sakura)

Shizune: Kami-sama!! I left him in the office!! O-ok… see you later!! _He usually sleeps and pees in my chair!! Noo!!!!_ (made a dash toward the top of the Hokage tower)

Sakura: Ahh… see you later Shizune-san! (runs toward where the 5th went)

**One hour later…**

Sakura: A-ano, Tsunade-sensei… you cannot have one more bottle of sake! _She's already drunk! And I've given her eight bottles already…_

Tsunade: SAYS WHO? (drinks another cup while glaring at her)

Sakura: B-but!!

Tsunade: Sakura, if you give me one last bottle… I'll help you with Sasuke!

Sakura: _Sasuke-kun? _You mean to say that I can have Sasuke-kun's heart?

Tsunade: (nods while sipping her cup) You will have the chance to know what Sasuke likes in a girl…

Sakura: But he never will talk to me… he usually ignores me…(teary-eyed)

Tsunade: Then you will force him to tell all those things to you! (fills her empty cup)

Sakura: H-how?

Tsunade: I have the scroll for that kind of thing… I'll give it to you(wipes her mouth) if you will give me one more bottle… but I guess you really want me to stop…

Sakura: _I don't care if I lose all my cash… It's Sasuke-kun we're talking here… anything for him! _Matte! Tsunade-sensei, it's a deal! Oh, and I'll make it two sake bottles for the scroll!! _Oh! I'm going to be the most envied kunoichi, no make that the most envied girl in Konoha! Ino-pig will have the worst reaction ever!! Cha!! _

Tsunade: _Hell Yeah! More sake to come! _(evil grin)TWO MORE SAKE'S PLEASE! Sakura, no one must know this… let's discuss this in the office. (poofed)

Sakura: Hai!!! _I hope I can do that "poof" thing too._ (made a super speedy run toward the office)

Little they know that a fellow kunoichi heard everything they have discussed and had made a plan to trick the Hokage in giving her the jutsu that made Tsunade look like a mid-20's woman…

Masami: (disguised as a civilian) You there! Give me ten bottles of sake!... Uh… Can I have a discount with these?

Bartender: Sorry ma'am, we don't give discounts…

**Me: Kai!! Back to the present time!!**

**At the training grounds…**

Kakashi was already at the last page of his icha icha paradise and was sad to know that in a couple of seconds, the story will end. He was so absorbed to the story that he never realized his student Sakura was changing moods from crying to grinning then suddenly left him to find the other two members of the squad. His day turned out to be boring if not for the icha icha paradise to keep him satisfied. Well, he missed having tough missions really and hoped that someone wants to disturb this peaceful day. He's a ninja for Kami's sake! A quiet and peaceful day would only cause his eyes to droop and give in to sleep, not that it's a bad thing to do but it would cause fat to build in his body and may affect his build. He doesn't despise fat people. If that happens he would have become barbequed by the Akimichi clan. He loves fat people always thinking of them as cute, but hates himself to turn out fat!! But Kami-sama seemed to be a little deaf to his wish…or not!

Not so far away he could hear faint cries of insults that sounded like "old hag", "idiot", "bitch", "ugly" and "bastard" which were thrown at each other. Looks like he has to teach his team how to have patience just like him… As he approaches the clearing, he felt an unknown chakra signature and he thanked Kami-sama for answering his wish!

Masami: Hah… I told you, you can't kill me. Your chakra are absorbed by my mist… give up kiddos and maybe I'll spare your lives!!

Naruto: _No… I won't easily give up…but I can hardly move… ack!! _(tried to move)

Sasuke: _I can't be this weak…nooo…but the mist is eating all my chakra…_ (panting)

Masami: Time's up! If you can't decide on it then I'll decide for you… Farewell despicable weaklings! I'll give you my mist suffocation jutsu!

As she made her final attack, Kakashi made his scene while throwing shurikens and kunais which forced her to move three steps back.

Masami: What is this?

The mist then gradually dissipates showing Naruto clutching his bleeding shoulder and a wounded Sasuke on all fours both panting and lacking chakra to fight.

Kakashi: Messing up with a bunch of kids is not ideal for a jounin like you.

Masami: Oh the famous Copycat! What a surprise! So the rumors are really true.

Kakashi: And that is?

Masami: That you are one hot guy! Your mask adds to your sexiness. (fangirl mode) Say, what can you say about me, the beautiful Masami of the Mist?

Kakashi: Uhh… you're old… and you need a face and bust lift …

Masami: O.O I'M NOT OLD AND UGLY!! I'll show you who I truly am and you'll regret everything you had said! (lifts and opens the scroll)

Kakashi: …!!_ She's not going to fight?_

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei, she has stolen a scroll from the Hokage tower!

Sasuke: And that scroll is the one that she has opened!

Kakashi: Hm?? But it's already an empty scroll…

Masami: (wide-eyed) NOOOO!!! THIS CAN'T BE!! THIS CAN'T BE!!! (A dark mist starts to engulf her) I'VE BEEN TRICKED BY THAT HAG! (rage meter…46%)

Kakashi: Oi, Naruto… still got chakra left? I need you to do the sexy jutsu!

Naruto and Sasuke: (wide-eyed)…

Kakashi: She used to be a fangirl before and a big pervert… The Oiroke is the only solution…and you're the only one capable of creating massive bunshins. She's a deadly opponent when outraged. We need to at least calm her down.

Naruto: _Hey Kyuu, can you lend me a little chakra? __**[fine… but don't disturb me again…I lack sleep…Ja!] **__Thanks!!_ Here it goes! Taijuu Oiroke-no-jutsu!!

A lot of sexy women bare-naked with private parts covered in clouds appeared.

Masami: (upon seeing the naked women … rage meter rising…75%...90%…95%) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kakashi: (passed out from massive nosebleed)…_icha icha world here I come!_

Naruto: Ah….heheheh!! (scratches his forehead) Ow..Ow…Ow!!! Teme, that hurts!

Sasuke: You idiot! (punches Naruto on the bleeding shoulder) Now she's totally outraged!

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei hel-! Huh? He passed out too?

Sasuke: Because he's a total pervert!!

Naruto: Well, how come you're not affected teme?

Sasuke: Hn… _I closed my eyes…_ I'm not like him!

Naruto: But why did you bought the new edition of icha icha yesterday? Don't deny it I saw you went out of the shop while I'm on my way to ichiraku

Sasuke: _Shit…_That masked man forced me to buy it for him. That's the one he's been reading a while ago…

Naruto: oh, ok… So, if you're not into girls then, (realization hit him)…Aaaah!!! You're a-! (points to Sasuke accusingly)

Sasuke: (glares) I'm not GAY DOBE!!

Naruto: So, you won't faint when I will do Oiroke in a male version?

Sasuke: (huffs) No… and not in a millionth time will my answer be changed..

Naruto: Really??

Sasuke: (glare intensifies) Hn…

Naruto: are you rea—

Masami: HEY, WHEN WILL YOU BRATS STOP TALKING AND FIGHT WITH ME??

A gush of wind passes by carrying debris of dirt and fallen leaves was the only reply to Masami's question. Both genins have forgotten her and were so focused on their conversation and just realized she was still there intent to kill them already when she shouted.

MASAMI: HEY!!! YOU'RE FORGETTING ME HERE!

Naruto and Sasuke: … (looks at her then glared at each other completely ignoring her murderous aura)

Naruto: Hmpf!! Then prove it!! Taijuu Oiroke-no-jutsu!!

Masami and Sasuke: hm?? (all they see is smoke covering the area and no naked men)

Naruto: _looks like I'm chakra depleted already…kyuu? __**[zzZZZzZ!] **__what the?? WAKE UP KYUU!!! I'M DYING YOU HAVE TO LET ME LIVE SO YOU CAN LIVE TOO RIGHT!!KYUU??...Kami-sama help!!_ (drops on all fours)

Suddenly out of the bush popped up two males with bow cut hair wearing green spandex and flashy smile!

Gai: Lee!!

Lee: Gai-sensei!!!

Gai: Lee!!

Lee: Gai-sensei!!!

Gai: Lee!!

Lee: Gai-

The smoke gave way to the two hyperactive shinobis making it look like they were the ones summoned by Naruto.

Masami: AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? (still can't see clearly through the smoke)

Gai: SUCH A YOUTHFUL WOMAN YOU ARE!!

Masami: (rage meter falling…70%) _He said I'm beautiful!!_

Gai: I AM MAITO GAI, THE GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA (flashes his trademark smile)

Lee: AND I AM ROCK LEE, MAY YOUR YOUTHFULNESS SHINE! (the sun's rays added a tinge of sparkle to his shown teeth)!

Masami: Ehhhhhhh?? (Now, clearly face to face with the two shinobis smiling at her)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! (rage meter…20%...2%) (fear meter …70%...99%)

Gai: YOSH! WHY DID SHE FAINT?

Lee: GAI-SENSEI, SHE NEEDS CPR!

Naruto: Ah, what's CPR?

Sasuke: You force someone who fainted to regain their breathing and blood circulation by kind of kissing them in the process.

Naruto: _kissing them? _(looks at Masami) Just like when the prince charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and woke her up? And …and when Snow White was kissed by his prince too?

Sasuke: You read those things?

Naruto: What's your problem with that!!! It's better than those icha icha both you and kakashi sensei read!!

Sasuke: I don't read those things dobe!

Naruto: Ha!! As if it isn't true!

Sasuke: Hn…_ I just skimmed through the pages…once…just ONCE!!!_

Naruto: See!! I got you now teme!!! OW!! (punched by Sasuke)

Lee: YOSH! I THOUGHT SASUKE IS G-!

Gai: WATCH CLOSELY LEE!! I WILL DO A VERY BRAVE ACT!! AND IN MERE SECONDS, THIS WOMAN WILL BREATHE!

Lee: I WILL GAI-SENSEI! (eagerly watches Gai kissing , erm… giving CPR to Masami)

Gai closed the gap between him and Masami. Kakashi was slowly regaining his senses when he saw Gai somewhat KISSING Masami… and he fainted again due to grossing out leaving his tongue out in the process.

Masami: (awaken) _Hmm… is someone kissing me? _(opens eyes) Uwah!!( tries to release herself from Gai's hold) YOU!!!!!YYYOOOUU!!!!

Gai: YOSH!! YOU'RE AWAKE NO--OOOOW!! (punched hard by Masami and sent to a nearby tree)

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!!

Masami: HENTAI!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! AAAH!!!

Kakashi: (wakes up after hearing the loud crash made by Gai) You can't get away this easily!

Masami: _Shit… that ugly thing has also recovered… I must escape fast!_

Gai: YOSH, MY ETERNAL RIVAL IS HERE!

Kakashi: Time to end this game right now Masami, right Gai?? (earned a thumbs up and a toothy smile from Gai)

Masami: _I'm really in deep shit now…_

Gai: LEE, BRING SASUKE-KUN AND NARUTO-KUN TO THE HOSPITAL! WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER!

Lee: HAI, GAI-SENSEI!! (thumbs up)

**At the hospital…**

Sakura was busy in aiding the injured people that were affected by the destroyed Hokage tower.

Sakura: Tsunade-sempai's really angry today. What did Jiraiya-san do that caused her to destroy the Hokage tower?

Medic: Sakura, I need you to attend to Uzumaki and Uchiha… they have encountered a jounin level enemy kunoichi from the Mist Village a while ago…

Sakura: What happened to Sasuke-kun?!

Medic: There's no need to worry much. They only got minor cuts and bruises. I'll take your place here. _She didn't even ask on Naruto's condition._

Sakura: Domo, Arigatou! (runs toward Naruto and Sasuke's room and bumps into Lee) Ah, Lee!

Lee: SAKURA-CHAN! WHAT A YOUTHFUL DAY IT IS TO SEE YOU! NARUTO AND SASUKE ARE OVER THERE!

Sakura: Thanks Lee! Ja ne!

Lee: (grinning) NOW, TIME TO RUN 1000 LAPS!! SAKURA JUST MADE A CONVERSATION WITH ME! YOSH!

**Inside room 143…**

Sakura: Sasuke-kun!!! Naruto!!! What happened back there?

Sasuke: Sakura, tend to our wounds first… we're too exhausted to tell you…

Naruto: S-sakura-chan!! (gives a faint smile)

After one hour…

Sakura: You two take a rest. I'll be back later to check on you! (closes the door)

Sasuke: Dobe…

Naruto: Hm?

Sasuke: Why do you heal fast?

**Me: Flashback-no-jutsu …**

Naruto was currently fighting with Masami while Sasuke was regaining consciousness from his hard fall. Suddenly, Masami formed seals which will then close the chakra path gates thereby weakening Naruto. The blond tried to counter but failed miserably giving a frightening scream as his last cry. After closing the chakra path on Naruto, Masami then made her way to his heart for a fast kill but Sasuke blocked Naruto therefore receiving the hit slightly on his right arm.

Naruto: SASUKE!!

A barely moving Naruto felt the chakra all over his body burst out forcefully giving him strength to move and defend a bleeding Sasuke. He delivered a hard blow on Masami's cheek causing her to lose momentum. Masami was shocked that Naruto was able to break free from her seal but after the sudden blow, she countered it with her shurikens and he caught it then fell to the ground face first and "poofed". Naruto came out from behind her but she already sensed him and as a result, he was hit by her ice needles to which he bled all over and fell to the ground leaving Sasuke to finish her. Shurikens and kunai flew into the air. Fireballs obliterate trees and ice daggers pierce through tree trunks. Sasuke is always good in evading but his attacks and defenses are not on par with Masami's. As Sasuke was fighting her, he noticed that Naruto made a groggy attempt to stand. His wounds from her ice needles seemed to be gone and he's already standing and defending him against her blows. This made Masami angry as to how easily Naruto has overcome her attacks and made quick hand signs to create a chakra absorbing mist which made both of them numb and weak…

**Me: End Flashback…**

Naruto: _Sasuke, I can't tell you yet…you might hate me… I don't want to lose the bond I have with you… _(from a sad face then smirks) I really don't know…Heh admitting you're too slow to heal teme!!!!?

Sasuke: Hn…_ you're hiding something from me…_Shut up!!

Naruto: Say Sasuke, tomorrow's a holiday…

Sasuke: So? What's so special about the Kyuubi's fall?

Naruto: Heh, a lot of your fangirls will annoy you for sure!!! (fangirl mode) Ooh, Sasuke-kun ! Will you go out with me to see the fireworks tonight Sasuke-kun? Will you--!! (got hit by a pillow on the head) Hey!!

Sasuke: Quit doing that! You are more annoying than them!! _Plus, you look like one of them…_(turns away from Naruto)

Naruto: At least I don't only receive a "Hn" from you teme!! (snickers)

Sasuke: Hn… just go to sleep dobe…

Naruto: Night teme!

Sasuke: Hn…_oyasumi..._

At the repaired Hokage Tower…

Shizune: Tsunade-sama , somebody has stolen a scroll a while ago. Thanks to Naruto and Sasuke she is now at Ibiki's den…

Tsunade: She??

Shizune: Her name's Masami from the Mist…

Tsunade: She seems familiar… I want to see her tomorrow.

Shizune: Hai!

Me: Dun dudu dun!! The chapter's ended!!! Whew!! It's quite long…the longest chapter I ever had written!!! But hey I'm quite satisfied writing it. Next chapter, we'll celebrate Naruto's Bday!!! Yaay!! And he receives a very precious gift!!

Naruto turning female will happen very very soon… who knows maybe next chapter? And Masami got an empty scroll!!Poor Masami!! Her interrogation will also appear next chapter!! So, is Sakura the only culprit now? Ooh!! What will Tsunade do when she finds out it's her apprentice?

Sorry for a very very late update…but good news…I'm posting the next chapter next week..or less… I got lost track on my first plot that's why I've rewritten the story… the battle scenes are quite lame…sorry for the disappointment!!! I made Kakashi faint two times!! And sorry for not elaborating Masami, Kakashi and Gai's fight. I felt it's not really needed at all. Sasuke's weak due to too much chakra exhaustion and his recovery compared to Naruto's is quite slow…

Oh, I'm writing another Femnarusasu…and I'll post it really soon… so long for now!!! ta da!!!


	5. Mysterious Sake

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…but I own this fic…kyaa!!

Warning: this is my first ever fanfiction… and Naruto is a girl sometime soon here…

_Blablablah – thoughts, talking to sena-chan_

_**Blablablah – inner Sakura, Kyuubi**_

Last Chapter: The battle between the mist-nin and the konoha shinobis is over… Masami opened the already empty scroll and unfortunately she never regained her youth…Tsunade wants to see her…

**Chapter Five: Mysterious Sake**

**At Ibiki's Interrogation Office…**

Ibiki: Hokage-sama… she's over there…(points to where Masami's at)

Tsunade: Leave us be… (approaches Masami)

Ibiki: Hai!! (signals his fellow interrogators to leave the room)

Masami: (mumbling to herself) I just wanted to be like Tsunade… a mid-20's figure that will always be wooed by men…and… I am NOT stealing a very dangerous scroll!!

Tsunade: So, you're jealous of my look? And then you tried to get me to tell you and give you my secret by making me drunk?

Masami: _Hn…I shouldn't have made you drunk!_... Tsunade, how about we make a trade? I have bought a rare kind of sake that I know you always crave the most!! If you give me your youthful secret, I'll gladly give you my sake even it's special to me for free. It's in my bag… over there!

Tsunade: (looks in Masami's bag and inspects the bottle) _hmm?...what will I do? She really does have the special one… _Fine… I'll perform it infront of you and make you like me! You'll be pretty in no time!! _Payback is very sweet…oooh!! _But before I do it, you have to close your eyes…

Masami: (glares at Tsunade) How do I know if it's not a trick?

Tsunade: When it comes to sake…we're talking serious business here… _just close them now damn it!_

Masami: Fine!! (closes her eyes stubbornly) Do it now!

**After one minute…**

Tsunade: You can open them now.

Masami: (touches her ample breast, her curvy waist and her fine ass) _it's true! She really transformed me!! Too bad she never mentioned the right seals!_ So, will you release me now?

Tsunade: With pleasure!! (hiding her amusement) I'm glad you like the results…

Masami: Heh!! I never thought you were nice Tsunade!! I'll make sure I'm better than you… Just you wait and see how men will compete in kissing my feet!!! (walks away from the office while chuckling to herself and waving goodbye to the blonde Hokage without turning back) Sayonara! (and "poofed" herself)

Tsunade: _nice?? Heh, you forgot to touch your face oldie!!! Look in the mirror first!! That's what you get for messing up with Godaime! _( makes a hand gesture to call someone)

Anbu: (appears suddenly) Will I follow her Hokage-sama?

Tsunade: Hai… I want to know her reaction and I want a full detail!! No parts missing, you got that!!

Anbu: Hai…_ she's really weird! _(poofs)

Tsunade: Time for a great celebration!!! How do we celebrate it sake-kun? (talks to the special sake) Hm… come to think of it, it's that gaki's birthday… I'll let him taste what real sake is!!! Mwahahaha!!! That Masami… thinks she can outsmart me, ne? Heh! Now to hide you from Shizune.

**At the Konoha hospital…**

Sasuke: (wakes up and looks on his surroundings) Sakura, where's that dobe?

Sakura: (arranging daffodils in a vase) Oh! Sasuke-kun! You're awake now… I don't know where that idiot went. By the time I came here his bed's already empty. He has fewer wounds than you anyway… So, how are you feeling today? Can you move yourself freely now?

Sasuke: Hn… (notices a glint of light from Naruto's bed) _his necklace… ??_

Sakura: I came to say that you can already be released in the hospital, but if you still don't feel well you migh-

Sasuke: I'm off to go…

Sasuke: (smiles and appears fidgety) Really? Ahh, Sasuke-kun since you are feeling ok right now, will you…will you…

Ino: (makes a surprising entrance at the door) Sasuke-kun!!! Will you be my date tonight? Well, Shizune-san says that you're fine now, so will you say yes?? Please Sasuke-kun?? (unnoticing a very dark aura coming from a pink-haired medic-nin) Pretty please?? (batting eyelashes) I assure you, I'm way better than that forehead!!

Sakura: I-N-O!!!!

Ino: Eh? Sakura?

Sakura: YOU PIG!!!

Ino: SAY AGAIN??

Sakura: (clenches knuckles) Sasuke-kun won't date you!!!

Sasuke: _Stupid bitches!!_ (walks to Naruto's bed picking the jade necklace)

Ino: Says who?? A walking billboard?

Sakura: _Calm down Sakura… __**Kill that pig!!!!...**__ Let me handle this inner… _The whole village will agree with me!!!

Ino: (pissed off really good) and so does Sasuke-kun!!!

Sakura: YOU PIG!!! I'm better than you, it's obvious!! (gritting her teeth and points forefinger at Ino)

Ino: (snorts and raises an eyebrow) The only thing noticeable in you is your FOREHEAD!!

Sakura: why you BITCH!!!_**Told you, you should kill her already!!...**__ Fine, you win for now inner!!_

While the two kunoichis are busy having a bitch fight, Sasuke makes his disappearance and Tsunade makes her not so great entrance!! She almost gets in the middle of Sakura and Ino's punch!! Sakura and Ino both noticed where their fists will lead to and were just in time to hold back their punches!!

Tsunade: What the hell's going on in here?? (rage boiling)

Sakura: _Eep!!!_ Tsu-Tsu-Tsunade- sempai!!!!

Ino: _Oh shit!_ Hhhh-hokage- sama!!!

Tsunade: (cracks her knuckles so noisily) You better give me a good explanation about this…or else!!!

Sakura and Ino: Hhhai!!!

**Somewhere in the busy streets…**

Sasuke: (rests in Ichiraku) _Damn that dobe… he's still not in his house and also not even visiting his favorite noodle- house… Ahh… why do I care!! He lost this…he better search for this…Hn, I will make him pay for making me so dead tired just to give this…this… _(carefully looks at the diamond shape crystal in his left hand)

Sena-chan: Tsk tsk… that's bad Sasuke!!

Sasuke: _Sena-ch--…You again!!! How come you just pop out of nowhere??_

Sena-chan: OOPS!!! How come you can't fully call me by my name??hm???

Sasuke: _So what??_

Sena-chan: C'mon say it!!

Sasuke: _No!!_

Sena-chan: How about I put some fangirls right there sitting with you and resting on your lap??

Sasuke: _YOU… CAN'T DO THAT!!! _

Sena-chan: Can too!! I'm the authoress here remember?

Sasuke: _Fine!! What do you want Sena-chan!!???_ (with killer intent in his eyes)

Sena-chan: So you're pissed?? You're easily pissed with me aren't you?? I kind of hope my barging in will tend to help you relax and calm down but it turned out to be the opposite… So Ja!!!

Sasuke: _Wait!! Won't you try to do it now? _

Sena-chan: Naa… I changed my mind…Ja!!!

Sasuke: _Why you!!!...Stupid authoress… Better head to the training grounds… damn wounds still hurt but I still can train!! _(his pace slowed down when someone called him)

Tsunade: Ahh… Sasuke!! Wait! Have you seen Naruto?

Sasuke: (shakes his head)… His not in his house when I went there.

Tsunade: Sou ka… _Gaki, where are you?_ … Anyway, don't train for now. You need more rest!!

Sasuke: (looks at Tsunade's retreating back confused as to why she wants to see him) _She's right… my feet sore._

Sena-chan: Ehem, You should still be in the hospital instead than forcing yourself to train now. By the way, I know how to ease your throbbing feet… want me to tell you?

Sasuke: _I thought you left??_

Sena-chan: Oh, ok… I won't bother you again!!

Sasuke: _Sena-chan! Wait--_

Fangirls: (appears right infront of him just like a summoned beast) KONICHIWA SASUKE-KUN!!!! HOW ARE-

Sasuke: WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!!! (glares with murderous intent fit enough to scare away his fangirls) _S-E-N-A-chan!!!!!_

Sena-chan: Sorry, those fangirls of yours forced me to let them see you!! But I know, you can easily drive them away!! Do your feet still ache? …(looks at Sasuke's popping vein in his forehead) My, my!! You have a headache too!!! Want some advice? Go home… and sleep!!! Then, you can go and search Naruto again with your regained strength!! Trust me, it works!!

Sasuke: _I don't want to hear your voice again!!!_

Sena-chan: Then, it's ok for you to see me rather than hear me, ne?

Sasuke: _SENA-CHAN!!!!!_ (pupils almost turned bloody red)

Sena-chan: What did I do this time? (sees Sasuke's extreme murderous glare) Ah, hehehe…

Sasuke: _Send me home now!!!_

Sena-chan: Alright! Alright! _Sheesh, I'm not a genie and you're not my master!!! _(made a shortcut path to the Uchiha compound, more like making new paths to his house) Well, what do I see? You're near your home!! Just follow the arrows I made!! _Or maybe I am a genie!!_

Sasuke: _Hn… _(proceeds to where the arrows lead him)

Sena-chan: Don't I get a thank you perhaps?...

Sasuke: _Just go away…_

Sena-chan: I can change your location with just a flick of my fingers and you'll be at the top of the Hokage mountain within a sec!!

Sasuke: _Fine!! THANK YOU!! Now, will you go??_

Sena-chan: Without further ado!!! Heh, see you next time!!

Sasuke: _Ugh… How come authors are part of the story all of a sudden?? _(opens the door and slumps on his bed) _Dobe, this is all your fault!!! Oooh, you'll pay dearly for making me sore and tired…you can't get your precious necklace too easily…that's for sure!!_

**Meanwhile…**

The people of Konoha are currently enjoying the 13th celebration of the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune's defeat against the Yondaime. There is merrymaking in the streets and happiness is painted in every citizen especially during the parade. Everyone is enjoying a comical act on how the 4th Hokage defeated the demon. All was seen atop the four faces that were carved on a mountain where a very familiar shinobi sat. His whisker marks on both his cheeks were stretched and were brought closer to each other, thereby telling that he too is happy upon watching them but what his eyes show is the opposite of what he displays.

Naruto: Hey Kyuu, I know you can hear me right now… _**What do you want now kit?...**_ Seems like you're not in the mood…_** Who in their right mind will be enthusiastic enough to celebrate the day when she was encased inside the stomach of a loud brat!!...**_Wait a minute, you're female??..._** Do I have to wear ribbons and make-up for you to believe??...**_ Ah, hehe... alright, I believe you!! _Before you rip my stomach to shreds…__** I heard that kit!...**_ Hey, it's only a joke! No offence there!..._** I know, I just want to change your mood for a while…**_ Eh??..._** It's your birthday but you sympathized with me…**_ Seems like I can also borrow what you're feeling… _**Hn… I know it's my fault you were thought of as me.…**_ Well, you never did choose to be inside me. Yondaime placed you inside me…_** So, you're blaming him?...**_No. I think he just did the right thing to protect this village. Besides if you ask me, I would gladly sacrifice myself and will never hesitate for the villagers' sake even it will cost me my life!!... _**You humans, I really can't understand you!...**_ Maybe he knew that I can't really let others be hurt that's why he chose me to have you in my stomach._** But you are the one who ends up getting hurt!...**_ By the time I was born, I am already given a responsibility by the 4th Hokage… It's better me than them! I know how it feels. I just don't want them to suffer more from what they had when you were let loose. _**I wasn't let loose!!... **_Besides, I firmly believe that no one is born evil unless he believes he is… _**I am a demoness, brat…**_I know you're a demoness yet I believe you're not pure evil…_** Because?...**_ You let me befriend you!!..._** Hn…**_ That means there's still kindness in your heart!!..._** I'm going to sleep now kit!!**_ Hey, Kyuubi! Don't sleep!!... _**...**_ You really want to evade this topic don't you?... **… **You can't deny it, ne Kyuubi?... **…** _looks like she's asleep!_

Naruto: Seems like I have to celebrate it myself!!

Suddenly, a gust of wind stirred his sun-kissed hair revealing a too familiar figure wearing a mask standing behind a dog named Pakkun.

Kakashi: Why will you celebrate it yourself? How about let's throw a party!? (both eyes are on the blue Icha-Icha series although the other one is covered)

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei?!!!

Iruka: And it's not just ramen your going to eat today since it's your birthday…(smiles)

Naruto: Iruka-sensei?!!

Anko: Today's your lucky day brat!! I let you taste my favorite dango!!

Naruto: A-anko-san! _How come I still feel tense when she's around?_

Jiraiya: (with a little nosebleed due to the effects of his imagination) And you get to see great beauty in just their-

Shizune: (glared intensely directed to Jiraiya) Naruto, Tsunade-sama has something for you at the Hokage Tower.

Naruto: Ero-sennin!! Shizune-san!! Ano sa, ano sa… did you all climb here to see me?

Kakashi: You've hidden your chakra well. I have to use Pakkun to find you.

Naruto: (tears of joy were forcing themselves back at his eyes) Gomen!! I used my Kage Bunshin to roam the streets in a Henge and I was visiting Ojii-san in his grave in another henge awhile ago. I never thought someone would want to see me today…

Iruka: Or rather, you don't want someone to see you today? Naruto, we know who you really are and you've quite surprised us with your improvement even if you're still a genin. But I guess, no matter how well you've hidden your chakra to us, you'll always be noticeable in orange!

(a couple of smiles and laughs were seen and heard)

Naruto: Ehehe… _Is this real? Or am I just dreaming?... __**Pinch yourself! There are people who care, kit…**_ _so it is real…Hey, Kyuu I know you're wide awake!!...__**Hn…**_

Shizune: Tsunade-sama's waiting in the office already!! She wants you there!! So, let's go!!! You all know her if she gets pissed…

Naruto: Hhai!!!_ I will never ever forget this birthday!_

**In a not too far away place outside Konoha…**

Masami was paying attention to her dream fantasies and never noticed the presence of the anbu that Tsunade had ordered to follow her. She was dead tired of walking and leaping that when she found a stream decided to plunge her tired newfangled body in the nude. She was facing her exposed flawless back on two rouge-nin who were also tired and resting near the watercourse. Both had seen her strip show a minute ago.

Masami: (muttering to self) Heh, that Tsunade!! When it comes to her favorite drink, she becomes an idiot!! I wonder what will happen to her if she drank my "sake"!! Ahahaha-

Rogue-nin 1: Well, what do we have here… looks like we have found a beauty ne!!

Rogue-nin 2: The perfect recreation for our worn out selves…(approaches the musing naked kunoichi)

Rogue-nin 1: (catcalls) Excuse me beautiful… (goes to where his partner went)

Rogue-nin 2: (strips clothes and joins Masami without noticing her face) mind if we join you?

Masami: (upon hearing the word "beautiful" then turned to face her suspected lover) Why, of couse!!! It's my pleasure!! (shows her yellow teeth whilst smiling).

Rogue-nin 1 & 2: (faces were struck with horror by the time she turned to face them) AAAAAHHH!!!!!! ( the first fainted and the other drowned himself)

Masami: _How come their response seemed frightened?? Never seen such beauty before? Besides, they are ugly unlike me… _(looks at her reflection for the first time) Wha-whaaaaaaaaa!!!... TSUNADE!!!!!!!!!!!! _It's the same old and shabby face!! _I'll KILL you, you BITCH!!!!!

Anbu: (watching from a not so distant tree) Hm… looks like I've finished my mission… (poofs)

**Back to Konoha's Hokage Tower…**

Sakura: Ano, Tsunade-sempai! Where will I place this scroll? I don't know what category it belongs.

Tsunade: (just arrived after taking a stroll on the streets and meeting with Sasuke) You can place that one in that cabinet over there… or maybe you can keep it!!

Sakura: Eh?

Tsunade: It's an empty one… It once contained a teleportation seal but I kind of like the designs on the scroll so I decided to keep it. Have you finished piling up the scrolls over there and the antidotes too?

Sakura: Hai!! _Where is Shizune-san anyway?? _

Ino: Hokage-sama, the food is ready and set already.

Tsunade: Well, your punishment's over… Enjoy the festival while you can!!! Dismissed!!

Sakura and Ino: Hai!!!

Sakura: _Why do I feel that the designs of that empty scroll seem familiar?? _(realization hit her)_ I was given a wrong scroll !!! _(runs hastily toward her house)

Ino: _What's up with her!! So excited to go home?? Might as well head to the flower shop…_

**Ten minutes passed by…**

Naruto: OBAA-CHAN!!! (made his loud entrance)

Tsunade: Oi, gaki…(walks up to Naruto and ounched him playfully) Happy 13th Birthday!!!

Naruto: (recovers from the punch and makes a true smile) Thank you Everyone!!!

Tsunade: Why don't we start-… JIRAIYA!!! (notices Jiraiya's full mouth and noisy munching)

Jiraiya: Ehehe… thought you still want some "moment" there!!! (observes Tsunade's building anger) Oi, Naruto!!! Happy Birthday!!! (poofs)

Tsunade: _I'll search for you later you damn pervert!!!! _ (anger recedes)

Kakashi: So, can we start now?? _I'm hungry…_

Hours have passed and midnight draws to a close but still the Hokage's office is filled with people… drunk and snoring people… to be exact well except for a genin we all love since Kyuubi's powers can't make him drunk.

Tsunade: (drunk but still can manage to drink) Oi, gaki!!! I've prepared a very rare kind of sake for you to drink!! By the time it fills your mouth…you want more of it…I'll assure you!!! (picks up the sake bottle in a groggy manner and pulls out the cork) Give me your cup!

Naruto: _How come it smells differently?? _Baa-chan, does it have to smell like this?

Tsunade: Are you scared to be drunk? Just take a sip!!! I'll fill my cup too. Let's see who goes to sleep first!! (tried to fill her cup but her droopy eyes and shaky hand caused the contents to spill on the floor since the bottle laid parallel to the ground indicating that she dozed off right before the liquid touched the cup)

Naruto drank his cup to prove he won't take down any challenge and in a couple of seconds his vision became hazy causing sleep to take over. He fell on the semi-wet floor face first. This is the first time that he's totally drunk. After five minutes, a pink-haired kunoichi entered flawlessly inside the room and noticed that everyone is sleeping due to the alcohol's effects. She never intends to wake them up since she has to return the scroll that Tsunade mistakenly gave her. It turned out to be the teleportation scroll. Since the room is quite messy, she accidentally slipped upon stepping on an empty bottle lying on the floor and came in contact with Masami's opened bag as she pries her eyes. The bag, she suspected belonged to Tsunade since it is near her desk. She might have ignored the contents until she spotted a label on a bottle. Inspecting the bag, she found other potions concerning beauty in particular as well as some herbs and powder. Hesitating, she looked at Tsunade's sleeping face then to the bag. She really wanted to be noticed by a pale-faced Uchiha… or maybe even by a man better than him.

Sakura: Nah!! Sasuke-kun's the best!!! (muttering to self) Better get out of here before anyone will notice me… (grabs 2 bottles with labels of "love" and "beauty" inside Masami's bag)

**As the sun rises in the east of Konoha…**

Tsunade: COME BACK HERE AND CLEAN MY ROOM YOU BRATS!!! (hearing poofs and seeing clouds of smoke leaving an alarmed Shizune and a sleeping Naruto on the floor )

Shizune: Ah, Tsunade-sama!! I have to walk Tont-

Tsunade: You're not going anywhere outside this room!!

Shizune: B-but!!!

Naruto: (wakes up) Eh? Why am I here Baa-?... (seeing Tsunade's rage) _Must get out of here!! Quick, quick!!_

3…2…1…OOPS!

Tsunade: You too, Naruto! Help Shizune in cleaning this place!! I'll tell Kakashi to have a day-off today so you can rest after cleaning this.

Naruto: H-hai!!!! _Next time I need to learn quick escapes! Training is much better and fun to do!_

Tsunade: What are you two standing there for? Start by picking the broom and rag!!

Shizune and Naruto: HAI!

Tsunade: Kami-sama, my head really hurts… (seeing the almost empty "rare" sake bottle) _Did I really drink too much of you sake-kun?... _I will be back… and when I get back I want this room to be squeaky clean. (walks out of the room)

Sena-chan: I'm done!!!! It's quite long!! Sorry for not updating on the promised date since I got my hands filled during the holidays and had to pass requirements in school lately… I just want to thank all the readers who added me to their alerts and I do appreciate it really!! Thanks a lot!!! Do I have to give a spoiler for next chapter or do I have to?? Since, I love you

All so much… here it is!! Naruto and Sasuke will spend more time together and our blonde protagonist will experience certain physical changes in him… oh, emotional changes will have to occur too … Minna-san, Ja ne !!!


End file.
